2021
Sometimes I realize that if I didn't have children, I would take the easy way out of life. I would be selfish and just opt out. I dream of days when putting up a TV doesn't turn into a giant fight and being yelled at just for trying to help as asked. I dream for days where I am not walking on eggshells in my own home. Then I realize that my dreams may never come true because I decided to go into a profession that doesn't pay alot and there is no way I can afford to move out with me and two kids on that type of pay. I am stuck now and will always be stuck because I want to make sure my kids have a home. I live with a narcissistic person who calls me names, who is racist and who yells all the time. I know this isn't my normal "no matter what I got this" feel, but my fight is draining. He's won, nothing matters anymore because this is just what my life is. A continual circle of abuse. I haven't written in a while because of how depressed I have felt. ...