Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

I've always been very forward with my feelings for someone. But I've heard men say that they don't know where they stand with the person they like. I've never understood that personally, until now. Story time. So I've been "seeing" someone since around November. We have gone on several dates and by date 8 I finally got a kiss. So at that time I decided to drop any other potential  suitors. Maybe stupid on my part as we never had that type of conversation. He's a very nice guy and complete gentleman, also very slow moving. Even took the kiddos out on a date. At first it was cute and now I just feel I am along for his ride. Will he ever know what "this" is? So we have a conversation recently and he mentions how we aren't in a relationship but moving towards one . And that he isn't seeing anyone else either. But is going on a trip with a female companion. ..overseas... For two weeks. Fantastic. So after our chat I still feel lost and con...

What a wonderful thing, the World being round. No matter how dark, the sun shines again. Stars light up the darkness, to guide your way. Waiting for the moment,  of rebirth. Find that Angel, and hold on tight. No pain is forever, follow the light. Wake from this dream, and know who you are. You're an amazing beam, of the highest star. It's amazing how I look back and see all the ups and downs of the past years. Then I realize, no matter how much I want everything to be wonderful, that is just not how life works. Yes, I can get extremely depressed and write about it here. The worst part of my thoughts go out on the internet. Why? Because if I don't have an outlet, what happens to those thoughts... they may become a reality. Isn't that anyone's fear.  I am not a person that likes being dark, when it happens it must be purged. So I do that here. But there is so much I fight for on any given day. Yes, it is draining. But there are people like me tha...