Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

 My little man has another therapy appointment tomorrow. I am super stressed about it. I know I should just relax and see where it takes us. But it is hard to do. I don't want him screaming and yelling like he did last time. My new friend has been helping so much with my little  boys mood swings. He listens to him and doesn't hit me nearly as much with him being here. It's very nice. But again, same time it is a bit to much, to fast for me. I am totally not ready to go down that road anytime soon. You would think that being single for two years would make me ready. But I guess I am just way to used to the Single Mom life that I don't want to add a third party into the mix. Maybe at this point I am just scared of commitment in general. I have so much that I do right now and I don't want to complicate that. I have my two kids, they are my world and I just don't feel right if someone else comes in and takes up time from them. Ugh. Frustrating.  Anyways. I had a...

So I guess I wasn't done typing. Staring off into time Wondering if I have the spine Cold lonely nights aplenty Feeling the gently breeze blowing Chaos Storming Frustration overflowing Watching a candle flicker Hearing the thunder rumble Very much humbled Time, Sound, Life Pause in an instant Try to keep up. Very poorly put. I just have so much going through my head at any given time right now. I am not handling it the best. I want to either Punch something, cry, scream  or just run away. It's the stupidest feeling ever. I mostly default to wanting to punch something. I need a punching bag for reals. Or a rock wall to climb. Or something else to beat up. :( Okay I am done now.

A lot of stuff has gone down in the last few weeks. It's crazy how every time I think life is going to be normal, it fools me.   We shall do the good news first. Bestie is now married and expecting a baby boy. So that is freaking awesome and I am super happy for her. :) One of the joys in my life right now for sure. I didn't get my promotion of course. Typical. I should know better by now than not to try to do anything of importance at my company. Though it opened other opportunities for me, just not sure if it is the path I want to go down. It is extremely frustrating for you to have your manager tell you " well, maybe you should find a job outside of the company, get the experience and then try to come back" when you damn well know we are not hiring and don't plan on doing so anytime soon. I am still one of the top performers and will continue to do so, in case I need a professional reference from one of my managers. The family situation is kind of stressf...