Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

After 8 years with my current company I believe it is time for me to move on. I am stagnant and not able to move forward, get a raise or do anything substantial with my life. I no longer feel exceptional. I feel like a loser. I have commenced my job search for a Manager position closer to home. I just hope I can live out however long my remainder with my current company is, until I find a new home.  It's had its ups and downs.  But I matter. I am not just a number and I can do SO MUCH more than what they let me do. It's time to take a giant leap of faith, and hope I find something that I love again. I am not asking for you to wish me luck, just hold me in your prayers so that my life can improve. No one controls my future but me, and darn-it, it is about to change if it is the last thing I do.

It's amazing how fast life can just pass you by. Earlier this year my grandfather died. It was a terrible event. I miss him every single day. During that time I had court and my uncle and mom had been arguing. All around stressful.  I also got denied for yet another promotion. Surprise, Surprise. It tends to be the trend now. Though I am once again in a Temporary Supervisor position while someone is out on Medical Leave. But it's just that, Temporary. I feel that for whatever reason, I am just not good at excelling anymore. I have come to accept this, which is the most terrible part. I need to find motivation. I just haven't. So instead I have been running more and recently joined a boot camp. Once I feel better about me, I think I will be able to concentrate my life other places.  Though, relationships I have given up. I am almost thirty, still single and no light at the end of that tunnel. I can imagine my kids all grown up, me in my fifties with a bunch of Savannahs ...