Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

I am so over the petty bullshit. He is always the Fucking victim. No one listens to him. He's so Fucking selfish. Lawyer time for real.

This month is now flying by. I am on a temporary assignment that I love and it keeps me busy. However, no matter what distraction I may find, he is the first and last thing I think about every single day. I just want it to stop. I don't want to love him or care about him or think about it. But I don't have a choice. It is part of my life no matter what happens. This is the absolute last public time I am saying this. I will refuse to say this in the future. It may be harmful to an extend to myself.. . But saying it hurts more. I love you. And good bye.

I really don't understand. Now that I am not in the same building it is like he talks to me more. It is sooo frustrating. I have so many things to think about and I hate it. He's being nicer. Gave me a random real hug the other day. Real hug as in long and tight and held me. I don't know. I love him. But I know it won't work. Deep down, I know it won't. So I am not going to let myself entertain that idea again. It's a trap. It always is. This weekend will be fun I hope. Good Night.

The clock ticks on, wonders from beyond. Tonight shall shine and the rest shall fall Faint crimson drips of loves lingering pain Thoughts of not holding on One always stays strong.

It seems that time just keeps going. They say time heals all. I really wish that was the case. I keep trying to stay distracted but nothing seems to work. He's the first and last thing I think about every day no matter how I try to forget him. I should hate him. I'm broke and can't even afford baby formula and when I need help, he can't give me any. Now I have to find a way to feed my kids. Second Job. Here I come.