Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

When you are attending a medical school for animals you still study how the immune system works. Its the same for animals as it is people. You have the innate and adaptive immune system. You're born with the innate system and this is our first line of defense against illness. Our skin is part of this defense system, but it's not specific.  Our body just fights off whatever it can.  Then we have the adaptive immune system. This is specific.  This is why the flu shot is recommended because it gives our adaptive system time to build immunity to a new virus. Now, with that being said,  back to COVID.  I am on day 3 of showing symptoms and thankfully I don't need to go to the hospital as of yet. I do however, feel like I am dying. My body is doing its best to fight this off, but without previous knowledge of this virus, it is hard. I drink so much water ever single day and I still feel dehydrated. My entire body hurts and is exhausted from the energy that us bein...

      The hardest part about being stuck in your house, is being stuck in your house with Domestic Violence. At least before the kids and I had been able to go to school during the day and have some freedom.   Week one at home wasn't that bad.  I heard him yell at my mom from time to time at night, but it was contained, and I did worry about her.  Then week two came along and it started to flow out of the room and through the house.  Wednesday, he yelled at her because she didn't want to sit outside with him because it was cold. Yesterday because she didn't want my dog to be outside while other dogs had been off leash, which is a rule. So, I intervened, and he started to take it out on me. I will take it because I don't want him to yell at my mom anymore.  Today is my mom's birthday. Stuck in a house with an abuser and not even able to take her out.  I got her flowers delivered, a beautiful sun hat and sadly I burnt dinner, but I tried...

You would think that with everything going on, my mind wouldn't go back to the one person who crushed my heart, but it does. I sit here and wonder if he even cares how we are doing during this pandemic, if we are okay. If I am holding up with severe depression and anxiety. Then I realize he most likely doesn't even care because he never loved me the way that I loved him. I just hope I can do my best for my kids and that we get through this together as a family unit. Now I am stuck in a house with my life long abuser, trying to keep my kids safe so that they are not the next victims. We cannot leave and escape to school during the day as it was canceled until the end of April, who knows, maybe forever.  I will fight for them as long as I am alive, no matter what, they are my reason for being here. This is my worst fear as a parent. Raising my kids in a world where other people may become their worst enemy. Where other people will exploit the kindness to get supplies that the...