Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

It seems that my attempts to resolve anything are a complete failure. I am not good enough for a new ring. I am not good enough for respect. He is just living with me for duty. Not for love. I can tell. It's like a robot walking around me all the time. I want you Romance. Someday I will know what you are, even if it is just Romance with no love. For my love will always be stolen by someone who doesn't fully appriciate what I have given.

It's December now. My son will be two years old this month. The time sure does fly. I have to wonder, how will my life look in April? I am "Supposed" to still get married? How does one get married when they no longer have a ring? How is that even considered engaged?  I just don't know what to do. I am so broken and empty. Alone. Hurt. Lost and confused. I need a clearer path. I know life isn't supposed to be easy. But I am at a point that I am not sure how much more I can handle. I am the only one that is "required" to change. I guess that shows me, that he isn't the one for me since if we can't compromise together then what's the point. Changing who you are is not love. And apparently that is what I am supposed to do. He doesn't love me. He loves the idea of me. Please someone. Help me walk away before I am completely lost to who I am. I am not Strong enough to do this on my own.