Random Thoughts From A Not So Confused Mind.

 On December 10, 2022 the world lost a great man.  He taught me to be patient. He taught me to be kind. He taught me that even if you are not blood, you can be loved as family. That last part I didn't know until I was an adult. My grandfather passed away last night in his sleep. His months of suffering has finally come to an end. He was at home with my grandma surrounded in love with her and his animals where he belonged. I may have never known he was my step-grandfather until I was an adult, but that is just a title. To me, he was my grandpa. I was his birthday gift. I was the one he would sneak little tiny stuffed animals to from the grocery store. Then tell me not to tell anyone because they would get jealous. I was the one that went everywhere with him, because I was born on his birthday. Grandpa, you may have said I was your birthday gift, but to me, you had been my gift. The gift of unconditional love and happiness. You will be forever missed, and never forgotten. 

 It has been so long since I have written that I do not even know where to start. The last thing I wrote was very emotional because I was losing a friend, right at a crucial time in my life. I was in my last term of school, getting ready to take finals and my exit exam and there was still a lot happening at home. It seems like a never-ending cycle of constant struggle. But why is this a constant struggle? Well, you see, people in a situation like mine feel stuck. We have “no options” and don’t have great ways out. The resources are lacking, and the system fails us over and over again and no matter how hard we try, it is like quicksand. It’s almost too embarrassing to admit it is easier to stay in the shitty situation than to start over. So here I am writing about my last year to help everyone realize that we may not get a second chance. August 2021, I graduated College and went to Vegas with some amazing people. It was the time of my life. I started working right when I got back ...