Hold
Waiting, Watching, Listening
Standing Still
While the world gets its' fill
Innocent laughter
Fills the air
Another Sun rises
in the endless horizon
The time will come
and your life will be won
I realize this may not make sense to a lot of people. But I am unique. I have certain things in my life that I value, that deserve to be number one and no one, will ever, take that away from them. Please understand that what I do is for them . Not for you, not for me, not for their dad, grandparents or friends. But for them. Sure I may be a bit extreme. Sure I may sacrifice certain things that are considered happiness and comfort. And you never know, it may kill me ultimately. But, as long as they are provided for, and happy. Then whatever my fate, will be my fate. For those that judge me, who don't accept my choices, (you know who you are.) I feel sorry for you. For being so narrow minded and selfish that you can't even begin to understand what or why I do what I do. I feel sorry for you, for not knowing an ounce of sympathy or even empathy when someone you claim to love needs it the most. As I said, it may kill me in the end, but at least I will know that I fought so hard for something that I believed in. And that, will make me be at peace. Someone very dear to me has been trying to get something through to me for a few months now. And I see it now. Thanks to her I realize that I am one of the Strongest and Bravest ladies that you will ever meet. Of course I cry. It is a release. It has to happen or stress will over come. This brave lady may stay single until her precious joys are far into their teens if need be. However I am no longer afraid of being single. I am no longer afraid of living a life where only I can depend on myself. Because the reality of it is this, the world will judge me. Judge me for being a single mom. Judge me for "failing" at stable relationship , family for my kids. Well. I am not failing. They have a family. They have me. And I will be damned if they ever think they can't come to me.
Remember this world. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of what society thinks is acceptable, if that acceptable isn't who you really are. This will kill you more than anything I am doing to make two very special things happy. Society is wrong, society is a herd of sheep which is too afraid to be different. To afraid to show who they really are. Because human nature feels the need to be accepted, to be liked, to be loved at whatever cost to their soul. My soul may be shattered. But at least I, know what to do, to pick up the pieces.
As a side note: This is not a "I hate the world" post. This is my serious thoughts and feelings. I accept the world for what it is. I am just going to make sure I am happy for me, and not for the world.
People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead. ~Edith Wharton
Standing Still
While the world gets its' fill
Innocent laughter
Fills the air
Another Sun rises
in the endless horizon
The time will come
and your life will be won
I realize this may not make sense to a lot of people. But I am unique. I have certain things in my life that I value, that deserve to be number one and no one, will ever, take that away from them. Please understand that what I do is for them . Not for you, not for me, not for their dad, grandparents or friends. But for them. Sure I may be a bit extreme. Sure I may sacrifice certain things that are considered happiness and comfort. And you never know, it may kill me ultimately. But, as long as they are provided for, and happy. Then whatever my fate, will be my fate. For those that judge me, who don't accept my choices, (you know who you are.) I feel sorry for you. For being so narrow minded and selfish that you can't even begin to understand what or why I do what I do. I feel sorry for you, for not knowing an ounce of sympathy or even empathy when someone you claim to love needs it the most. As I said, it may kill me in the end, but at least I will know that I fought so hard for something that I believed in. And that, will make me be at peace. Someone very dear to me has been trying to get something through to me for a few months now. And I see it now. Thanks to her I realize that I am one of the Strongest and Bravest ladies that you will ever meet. Of course I cry. It is a release. It has to happen or stress will over come. This brave lady may stay single until her precious joys are far into their teens if need be. However I am no longer afraid of being single. I am no longer afraid of living a life where only I can depend on myself. Because the reality of it is this, the world will judge me. Judge me for being a single mom. Judge me for "failing" at stable relationship , family for my kids. Well. I am not failing. They have a family. They have me. And I will be damned if they ever think they can't come to me.
Remember this world. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of what society thinks is acceptable, if that acceptable isn't who you really are. This will kill you more than anything I am doing to make two very special things happy. Society is wrong, society is a herd of sheep which is too afraid to be different. To afraid to show who they really are. Because human nature feels the need to be accepted, to be liked, to be loved at whatever cost to their soul. My soul may be shattered. But at least I, know what to do, to pick up the pieces.
As a side note: This is not a "I hate the world" post. This is my serious thoughts and feelings. I accept the world for what it is. I am just going to make sure I am happy for me, and not for the world.
People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead. ~Edith Wharton
Comments