Insomnia

It appears my insomnia is back in full swing. So much feels like it is going on right now. Thankfully I kept this blog around to help me vent. I realized there are very few people who I let in, so instead I give my hopes, dreams, fears and drama to the internet world. Thanks for that.

I need to try and realign my career. Figure out who I am, and what I can be. It's very apparent to me as of yesterday, that my original goals will never happen. It's a dream that I just for some reason can't grasp at my current company. So I am going to see about finding some night school and get some education. I was thinking business, but would I be happy? Most likely not. 

I want to work with animals. Help them, take care of them and love them when no one else will. They are far more deserving of that love then most of the people in this world. Cruel of me to say? Maybe. But most know its true. I witnessed an accident the other day. No one stopped to see if this man was okay. No one even called 911. Just kept driving. I pulled over, called 911 and then got out of my car to check on him. I know our lives are busy people. But humanity is far more important than your schedule. I was late to work that morning. Did I get fired? No. Did I get an attendance hit? No. Why? Because my management was way too shocked that I helped, they didn't feel that they could. That's not right. It shouldn't be a shock that someone one have a shit about another's life or well being. I would happily take an attendance point for being late NO matter what the reason I am late for is.

I know so much is going on in this post, but my mind will not shut up. It is stuck in this happy/not happy debate phase. I guess I just need someone to talk to. That I trust. But that list is so small and no one on that list would I be okay with calling at one in the morning to cry. Especially for a lonely feeling and not an emergency. 

I do want to say thank you, to a fantastic man across the big blue. Pinged me the other night right as I was about to fall asleep..at four am...you helped. Thank you again for helping me sleep. You're an amazing person and I love you.

A friend once told me that if I open the bible to a random page, the phrase that I first see should be able to help me in a current situation. So let's try and see what it says. The lights are off and the first thing I see with my camera flash is this:

Then the runners went throughout all Israel and Judah with the letters from the king and his leaders, and spoke according to the command of the king: "children of Israel, return to the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel; then He will return to the remnant of you who have escaped from the hand on the kings of Asyria. And do not be like your fathers and your brethren, who trespassed against the Lord God of their fathers, so that He gave them up to desolation,as you see."

Now I know religion is still controversial, so take what I say, or type as you will. Everything is always up to someone's personal interpretation. But know, no matter what, we all have a soul. Don't forget it is there. Help save this world and start giving a shit again for you are not the only one in it.


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