How Domestic Violence Ruined My Nonviolent Relationship

I've grown up in a broken home. I've known nothing else. Fighting, yelling, name calling. It has all been normal. I have been trying to shield my kids from the bullshit that has been my life and it hasn't been bad for some time. Then something happened in June and everything seemed to spiral out of control.  I've been in a relationship with a man who loves my kids and treated them as his own, they adore him and I really don't know how I am going to tell them that the last two years wasn't our forever as we had all hoped. Some people aren't built to handle the type of bullshit that I endure on a daily basis, are not built to support and be that rock. But sometimes, even the rock can shatter and then only the rock can pick up her own pieces. Even though this rock was told that it was forever and marriage was going to happen someday. 

Domestic violence happens every single day in a lot of homes and people don't talk about it. I'm talking about it now because I refuse to let it ruin what I have left. A career once I finish school and my beautiful children. 

It has ruined my relationship with whome I thought was my soulmate.  He couldn't handle the everyday that I have endured for over thirty years. Him and my dad (our abuser) got into and the cops had been called. For months we grew distant while I tried to fix it. Then I realized I can't fix something when my boyfriend, my once soulmate,  doesn't want to fix it. The sad reality of my life. Domestic violence ruins more than your self esteem,  it ruins other's views on life and their thoughts on you as a person. 

The sad reality is that everyone needs helps getting out of an abusive situation, and I am no exception to that rule.  I am a single parent who is not working and going to school full time.  I have no where to go and that's a very scary thought.  My mom and I take on the abuse to shield the children from it. Why? So when I graduate, I can save them and myself because I now know I'll never have someone there for me. I'll be the one to pick up my own pieces and the kids, yet again when we are left broken and hurting.  


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