Love, Depression and Bucket Lists

The wonderful world of living with depression, whether it is in so called "remission" or not, it is always there. As my one plug for those with depression, there are resources out there for you, you are not alone and you can get through this. I know it seems like there isn't an end, but always fight for you, you are worth it, no matter what.

 With that being said, I feel like it has been a roller coaster week for me. I am feel like a person in those Romance Novels you read about. I will be the first to admit that I am 100% stubborn and refuse to say I love you first, but it also sucks as I don't think my man is the type of person who will easily say it first as he too has been pretty burned in the past. So it puts me in a pretty crappy situation at the moment. On top of those extremely strong feelings deciding they want to be around, my depression and lack of self worth have also jumped out of the shadows to say hello. I feel like I have been torn in so many directions with my own emotions this week. Everything started out so beautiful. I started my week walking in a large, green forest with beautiful big trees full of life. And now I just feel like I am in a desert wasteland with no water. Less than three days and everything feels it has changed.  I WILL BE OKAY. I know I will. I just needed to write down my feelings so I would stop crying every single night. Writing helps me release all this pent up energy that I have inside me.

 On the fun side of things, I was able to complete some bucket list items. I went to San Francisco and San Jose. I walked on the Golden Gate Bridge and went to the Winchester Mystery House. It was an amazing time and I was so happy to share it with my special someone. I've never wanted to share my bucket list items with anyone before, so it is a new feeling for me. I can't wait to see what else the future holds. 

 It's okay to be crazy from time to time. We're human and we have feelings. I think the world forgets that and we are all held to such a high standard. Loving each other is so hard to do, I wish more would take that step forward and just accept people for who they are.

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