Starting Over: The not so ugly truth

 I stayed at a toxic job for 13 years. At first, it was because I loved my job. I loved the culture and the people and everything it stood for. I was a gamer at the time, even if it was not a good one. I thought I had the best job in the world. I put up with the sexual harassment, I put up with not getting a promotion and swore it wasn't because I was female. I put up with unwanted comments. I did this and watched as I lost who I was. I also stayed because it was a stable income while I was going through a shitty breakup and I needed to support my kids.  I know that I get jack shit for child support, but I don't care because I love my kids and I do what I can to support them on my own. I always will. But, I obviously need a job to do that. So I kept at a job that I hated and didn't realize I hated until I was laid off.  I know I have talked about this before, but it is important to talk about it today. Today has been a big day for me and a lot of crying. But not sad tears today, happy tears. My life is not where I thought I would be. I am 35 years old, a single mom and finishing school to become a Vet Tech. Do Vet Techs make a lot of money, heck no. But will it make me happy? Yes, yes it will. 

Today I got an E-mail letting me know that my graduation is around the corner and I will be able to walk with a class to show that I made it. I couldn't believe it! It is here, I didn't get tot walk for my other degree, but this one, I can. It is HUGE for me. Then to top it off, I have booked my first trip out of the Country. I am going to Africa to work with animals. Yes, AFRICA. I get to do a lifelong dream and work with animals in another Country. I keep crying because I realize that no matter what, it may be hard to start over, but it is worth every second. It is worth the fear of the unknown. I had no idea what would happen. If I would make it. I started this journey with a support system that fell apart within the first month of school and then found an entire new support system once COVID struck. It is amazing how life happens and I couldn't be more thankful for that. It hasn't been easy and there has been a lot of sacrifices to get me here, but we are here. 

To my kids who have supported their momma in every single step of this journey, I love you endlessly and I cannot wait to support you in all of your life dreams. No matter how many you may have. I will be there as long as I am here. 

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