Life Lessons

Recently I had surgery. I was out on leave for six weeks recovering and everything was great (minus the home drama, that will not be part of this post after this). I go back to work to a changed schedule. The Thursday before I go back, my manager called and gave me a heads up that our Critical care unit was hurting, and they needed coverage. The plan was for me to cover two days there, and remain two days in Emergency, which was my normal schedule. I agreed. Those two days became three and I just let it slide. First week back, second day in, I had a full on break down in our social workers office crying my eyes out because we had over 20 patients and just me and one other tech. Out of those patients, four of them had been actively trying to die on us, and one of them did die after I went home for the evening. In situations like this, I get extremely angry, because this was preventable for us to be this stressed out, maybe not the death, but the stress for sure. More help should have been called in, more attempts. The manager on duty should have stayed later instead of leaving on time. So many factors. It was a HORRIBLE first week back. I took the weekend to refocus. I told myself this week would be different. Week two, you would be POSITIVE. And it was starting that way. Sunday, kicked butt, loved it. Monday, I had an idea. I was going to bring in positivity jars. I shopped around, couldn't find any, so I ordered some. Tuesday. Tuesday is when it all went to hell. ....

Then here we are, with just this week and next week before April and the schedule wasn't published for March yet. Less than two weeks out and it hasn't been published. I just finished having a conversation with our social worker about how I am going to bring in something for the hospital to help make it more positive. We need some forward happy movements in the hospital. We finish the conversation and I go back to work; she goes on vacation. About 10 minutes later the schedule comes out and not only am I completely removed from my original Emergency shift, but I am also fully in Critical Care (CCU) with a slightly later schedule. Now to be fair. I do not hate CCU. It is okay. But it is hard for me to do it day in and day out. I get bored and it is not stimulating for me at all. Emergency and training are my passion and now I have been removed from that while a new hire got my shift. I felt extremely upset. So, I asked for a meeting from my manager and my HR representative. I get that meeting the very next day at the start of my shift. So now it is Wednesday. We sit down and we talk, and it was like talking to a wall. I bring up how I feel, and it goes on deaf ears. Then she says it. "I have made accommodations for you in the past in regard to your schedule". I realize something. All the feelings I have had for the last year are valid. All the feelings that my manager resents me from my transfer are valid. She has disliked me from day one because of a massive miss communication about my scheduling needs are valid. And she is using that against me now. That should not be coming up in a meeting today for any reason. I covered some other things I wanted to talk about because I wasn’t sure I would get that chance again, then got up and walked out. I cooled down, but I couldn’t stop crying. I was visibly upset. Hours went by and I couldn’t settle with what was said. It was just eating at me. Another incident happened with a Dr just walking out and quitting and I just kept thinking about that and saying “good for her.

Then it hit me. I had my “ah-ha” moment. I know I am a darn good RVT. I know I was a darn good manager in my previous career. I know that I am meant for more than what is being offered for me at this VCA. I know that I will NOT move up here because this manager holds a grudge against me from a YEAR ago. I texted my mom, asked her if she would think it was bad if I quit without a job lined up. My mom is the best, she answered in less than 30 seconds and said go for it. I sat down, wrote my email and resigned. I put in my two weeks’ notice. I know the managers had still been there, they didn’t walk over, when they saw me face to face they didn’t acknowledge the Email, pretended nothing happened.

This morning I get an Email from HR saying she is sorry to see me leave and wishes me the best and I guess that is that. That tells me right there that my gut was correct. Part of me is sad that it took my surgery for me to realize this, but also, I am glad this all happened. I am meant for more in this world. I want to help people and animals alike. I want to help reshape the world of Veterinary medicine where we can still save the lives of our animals, but also save the lives of the people who work in VetMed. It’s okay to have a human side, it’s okay to meet the needs of the business and your employees. It’s okay to make concessions and not have a cap of how many time each person can put in a request. If you have space, and there is availability, then do it. If you can’t do it that time, then you can’t do it. There is no point in being mean, just to be mean. I have never understood that. There are people who I work with that I don’t like, but I still go out of my way to help them, because ultimately, I don’t know what they are going through and neither does anyone else truly.

Be the change that VetMed needs. Don’t be that manager that has been in VetMed for 15+ years refusing to change because it has “always been done this way”.