Panic, Fear, Death and Triumph.
So here I have what I thought was a productive weekend. Then everything changes and it goes back to as it was.
We had a therapy session on Saturday, then we went to lunch and a movie. It finallt felt as our relationship as friends was moving forward. It was nice to hang out and be normal. I have very much missed his company.
Sunday started off great as well. Kids had been in a good mood and mom and I took my son and went out while the wee one was sleeping. Then had a few friends over. The kids asked for daddy so I had him stop by. Everything was fine. We both had been relaxing on the sofa after he got our little girl to sleep in less than five minutes. My dad then came in and sat down and then proceeded to start a conversation in front of my son calling his daddy bad names. I told him to knock it off. Then in return he told me to move out. So I need to find a new home.
Then my cat, well she is very old, is dieing. She can barely move her back legs and cries out in pain when any step is taken. I am pretty sure it is her last night in this world. Which saddens me. She was my first kitty and I love her dearly. As I write this, her shrivled, old self is curled up under my chair. As each breath comes, her eyes loose a bit of life. Going from a beautiful gold to a painful black. You will always be loved my dear, faithful friend. May your pain end swiftly. I love you.
In my panic I messaged two people. I realized that the second is an amazing person, and after all he has been through is willing to be there for me. However as always, I have issues leaning on my friends for help. I am a single hummingbird in this world. My movement looks fluid and natural yet my heart is beating as fast as this birds' wings as I move forward. We all know the first person is my life. Without her, I would be lost.
With all this said. I will be fine and overcome. It is what I do. And as someone once told me, God does not throw anything at you that you cannot handle.
Godspeed.
We had a therapy session on Saturday, then we went to lunch and a movie. It finallt felt as our relationship as friends was moving forward. It was nice to hang out and be normal. I have very much missed his company.
Sunday started off great as well. Kids had been in a good mood and mom and I took my son and went out while the wee one was sleeping. Then had a few friends over. The kids asked for daddy so I had him stop by. Everything was fine. We both had been relaxing on the sofa after he got our little girl to sleep in less than five minutes. My dad then came in and sat down and then proceeded to start a conversation in front of my son calling his daddy bad names. I told him to knock it off. Then in return he told me to move out. So I need to find a new home.
Then my cat, well she is very old, is dieing. She can barely move her back legs and cries out in pain when any step is taken. I am pretty sure it is her last night in this world. Which saddens me. She was my first kitty and I love her dearly. As I write this, her shrivled, old self is curled up under my chair. As each breath comes, her eyes loose a bit of life. Going from a beautiful gold to a painful black. You will always be loved my dear, faithful friend. May your pain end swiftly. I love you.
In my panic I messaged two people. I realized that the second is an amazing person, and after all he has been through is willing to be there for me. However as always, I have issues leaning on my friends for help. I am a single hummingbird in this world. My movement looks fluid and natural yet my heart is beating as fast as this birds' wings as I move forward. We all know the first person is my life. Without her, I would be lost.
With all this said. I will be fine and overcome. It is what I do. And as someone once told me, God does not throw anything at you that you cannot handle.
Godspeed.
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