Therapy

It has been over 24 hours since I saw the therapist. She was nice. We didn't talk much, I did a lot of the talking. However, she said that she feels he is hiding behind an excuse. Her exact words had been " He needs to man up and stop hiding behind an excuse because it is easier." She also asked who his therapist was because she was upset that they would tell him what they did. She also mentioned that I shouldn't be the one to schedule any of our couples classes. Because if he really wants to go and work on us, he will be the one to make the effort. And I agree with her. I am no longer going to go out of my way or spend time doing what he wants me to do for "us". If he really wants it, he can make forth the effort and do it. 

On a side note, he is touching me more and giving me more hugs. Strange how that happens after I tell him good bye.

Another one of my friends told me today that when I start dating or when boys start taking interest in me, that it will get hard. Because even if he doesn't want to be with me, he won't want anyone else with me either. Which I hope isn't the case because I don't want that drama. Not that I am going to go out and date, I have no interest in anyone.  There is someone who is extremely interested in me, I have already told them I am not looking for any kind of relationship other than friendship. So as long as I don't let him believe there is more than that, I don't mind him hanging around. It's nice to have attention and have someone call you beautiful that you just met.

Anyways. I need to go to bed. I find that I am getting old and sleep is my friend. Well, that and two babies waking up in the middle of the night.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sleep Deprivation

The newest form of torture is not allowing me to sleep. He doesn't need much to function, so instead of letting me sleep he will keep me awake all night long with his TV being super loud and doing god knows what in the kitchen. If I ask him to turn it down he just yells and says I am trying to pick a fight and then turns it up more. I am almost done with school and I cannot retain any information for quizzes because I am so tired all the time. I don't want to have to retake a term because I failed because I cannot sleep. I miss sleep, I really do. I know I say I can function on little, but it is starting to get to me. I need more so I can remember things. I am anxious all the time and constantly crying at stupid shit. I just need a break. I am once again watching my dreams disappear as I find I have to go another route. The one I want just isn't enough to get me and the kids out of this situation. Narcissitic   people really suck.
Read more

There is the Ups, then the Downs.

So. Scheduling at work got terrible. I was on a shift that was awesome. However, since he was also on the shift they split us up. This only happened because someone complained so they could get my shift. It was awesome. It then ended up screwing a few other couples. Very sad really.  Then today I was sitting there and I heard her name being mentioned by our HR rep. And I got scared, and had a panic attack. All I could think about is if she started to work for us again, I would lose my job and go to jail all in the same day. I hate how this all comes back around. The waves that his actions caused will last forever it seems. How can I even attempt to get over it when it is one thing after another. Then tomorrow I get to explain to my son why his Dog is missing. She bit my dad, and unfortunantly we will not risk the danger of her hurting someone else. God forbid it was one of the babies. I also stress about the person dearest to me. She is going through a very rough time with her...
Read more

To lazy to think of a title.

There is a song that I like. And this is the description from the singer.  "'Arms' is about the fight between your heart and your mind. Your heart wants to be loved but your head is always telling you reasons not to be with him or her, or how you are not worth the love. It's about the struggle and finally giving in when you're wrapped in their arms. Then you get it. Then you feel loved and love wins." To bad things don't work out like this. Fairy tells are not true. No matter how much I would like them to be.
Read more