Living with a Racist

Living in a house with a racist and a domestic violent abuser is one of the hardest situations I have ever had to deal with. Imagine yourself as a single parent with two mixed children. You are white female, but your kids are only half white. You find yourself with an abusive father, always has been and you already do everything to make sure your kids are protected from that, but now, when you find yourself fighting to be on the right side of history, you are in a house where someone is on the wrong side of it. It doesn't shock me at all that he is, but what does surprise me is how unwilling he is to listen to anyone else when it comes to their views. I have to wonder what he is going to do when my Black Lives Matter paraphernalia comes in. I got T-shirts, hats, face coverings, mugs for myself and the kids so we can go out and fight for a good cause. I never imagined I would have to fight that cause in my own home as well.

My dad’s excuse is as simple as “my grandparent’s got thrown into jail when they came into this country because they didn’t speak English”. So okay, it happened to your grandparents? Who Survived? Who have the right colored skin? Who didn’t get beaten? Who eventually got let out and got to live their lives? Did it happen to you dad? No, no it didn’t.  My mom did not have a comment to his ranting and said, “okay dear” and he got mad, and tried to start a fight. I tried to cull it and tell him to not start one and his response was “I’ve been good for four days; this is my opinion and if I want to be like this I can be.” Apparently because he hasn’t started a fight in four days that now means he can be an asshole.

BLACK LIVES MATTER. The reason behind all of these protests is to END POLICE BRUTALITY. Why is that being lost. That is being lost because of people like my dad. White people who feel threatened. White people who make it about them. Maybe not even white people. It can be people of different races who don’t understand, but the majority shines through.

This is my world. I live in a world of crazy mental abuse. I live in a world where I have to fight every single day to survive. And because of my fight, I will fight for others to survive. I know there is more for me out there than just surviving, and that is why I fight for peace, for love, and for equal rights. That is why I fight to end police brutality, to end sexism. That is why I will fight for anyone who needs the help.  Just because there is abuse, doesn’t mean you need to shut down. It means you need to fight. Don’t let the abuser see the pain, the hurt, the fear. Don’t let them see all the uncertainty that they place on you every single day. Fight back by showing them that no matter what, you can do good in this world when they try so hard to bring darkness.

I am a phoenix. I will be reborn each time you burn me down.

Black Lives Matter

End Police Brutality

End Sexism

Fight Domestic Violence