Blog Title
As the years have gone, and I have gotten older ( Irony inc. ) I realised I should update my blog title to " Random Thoughts From A Very Confused Mind". Only because right now I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with my life. What is going on. I used to have complete control on what happens next. Or what happens to me in general. That is long gone.
However, the reason I am not going to change it is because my goal is to be not confused anymore. Back to the place where I had less anger. Less hate. Less resentment. It's a shame what the real world can do to people.
I can even turn this into a rant blog on how much all males suck. However, I don't think that is true. I do believe that there is someone out there that is willing and able to treat me like I deserve. To be patient with me. To handle my mood swings. To understand that sometimes I just need to vent. Agree with me when I am wrong, even if they don't really agree. I just need to find them. Now, I need to find them either in the person I am with, or with someone new. That is where the confusion lies. Coming back to this blog after so long has helped and I am sad that I let my depression take over. Then again, my depression was so severe that almost nothing worked. I thought about checking into a clinic and taking my life once or twice. However , I realized that taking my life was just a waste of everyone's time. I didn't go through life and torture my parents to die before them. To not be there for my child is just retarded. So those thoughts never lasted long, but they did come frequent, more so then I would like to admit. Anyways. I think I am going to log out now. <3
However, the reason I am not going to change it is because my goal is to be not confused anymore. Back to the place where I had less anger. Less hate. Less resentment. It's a shame what the real world can do to people.
I can even turn this into a rant blog on how much all males suck. However, I don't think that is true. I do believe that there is someone out there that is willing and able to treat me like I deserve. To be patient with me. To handle my mood swings. To understand that sometimes I just need to vent. Agree with me when I am wrong, even if they don't really agree. I just need to find them. Now, I need to find them either in the person I am with, or with someone new. That is where the confusion lies. Coming back to this blog after so long has helped and I am sad that I let my depression take over. Then again, my depression was so severe that almost nothing worked. I thought about checking into a clinic and taking my life once or twice. However , I realized that taking my life was just a waste of everyone's time. I didn't go through life and torture my parents to die before them. To not be there for my child is just retarded. So those thoughts never lasted long, but they did come frequent, more so then I would like to admit. Anyways. I think I am going to log out now. <3
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